


I was an idiot. Forgive me?

by becomingawriter



Series: Real Love Series [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-01 04:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10180973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becomingawriter/pseuds/becomingawriter
Summary: Danny hurts Steve deeply when he is afraid to come clear with his family about his new relationship. The Navy-SEAL accustomed to being sidelined by the people he loves most, believes Danny wants him only as a dirty secret and when the detective realizes his mistake, may be too late.





	1. Trauma

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, you created a monster :)
> 
> I was happy and surprised with the return to my first story, it was very, very incredible. Thank you all once again.
> 
> So I turned that into a series. This is the second story because I think a relationship between Danny and Steve would not be easy, they would go through a lot of bumps.
> 
> This story happens a few months after the previous one, so the relationship is established but still new, not everyone knows about them and Danny is going to make a mess about telling or not to his parents. 
> 
> **English is not my native language, so forgive grammatical errors.**  
> 
> I don't have a beta, all mistakes are mine and don't stone me if you don't like the story or if the mistakes are too much.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, though.

Most people don't understand traumas. Not the literal meaning of the word, but the effect it has on the lives of those who keep something painful in the deepest heart.

Steve carried with him a soul marked by traumas, many of them. So when Danny says 'you're sentimentally atrophied' it really hurts.

It was not his fault that his mother died when he was only 16 years old and that his father couldn't handle his children and drove them away, changing the destinies of Steve and Mary forever. It doesn't matter at all that now he knows that John McGarrett did what he did to keep them both safe, the damage was already done.

Whoever looks at Commander McGarrett today, sure of himself, competent, brave and fearless leader doesn't realize how timid and lost he was as a teenager. Steve has always been lucky to be handsome since kindergarten. Mothers used to play around and say that he would be a heartbreaker when he would older and that helped him through the years of adolescence.

The quarterback star and king with the girls managed to disguise the frightened inside. The one who peeked out in the talent contest and prevented him from playing the music he had rehearsed on his guitar. After that fiasco, he abandoned the instrument and concentrated in the soccer. The strong and talented quarterback's armor taught him to hide his emotions and move on.

Then his mother died, and his father decided that he would be Navy, like his father and grandfather and then the Navy finished putting the concept of his emotions are harmful and he should keep them off the surface.

But then Danny came and changed everything. Speaking loudly, gesticulating endlessly and yelling at him when Steve acted as if his life were less important than of the other people. And after a few months they had stopped dancing around the white elephant around them and had been together. And gradually the Navy-SEAL as hard as stones was learning to decompress the feelings.

But today, sitting alone in one of the wooden chairs of his lanai, with a beer in his hand and a broken heart, he was sincerely sorry he had allowed access to the New Jersey blonde detective.

By this time Danny would be on a plane on the way home to be with his sister Bridget while she would give birth to his new nephew.

And he had made it very clear he didn't want Steve there.

The head of the governor's elite task force can still remember the words of his lover who pierced his heart worse than revolver bullets ... 

* * *

_** 10 hours  before  ...**_  

Danny walked into the office of his boss, partner and boyfriend and he knew the ad would be difficult, but Steve would have to understand.

"Babe?" Danny called as tucked his head into Steve's office, who talking to someone on the phone. When Steve caught sight of him, a huge smile erupted on his face and the detective sighed feeling like an idiot about what he was about to do.

Steve beckoned for Danny to come in and a few moments later he ended the call and reached across the table to his partner in every sense of the word.

"Is everything okay Danno? Did you talk with Bridget? How is she doing, and how is the baby?" Steve asked genuinely worried, what only made Danny even more guilty.

"It's to talk about her that I'm here, my mom just called me, Bridget's blood pressure is too high and doctors thought it was safest to schedule a c-section for Friday. I got a flight for today at the night. I hope it's no a problem." Danny said in a rush, wanting to get it all out of his chest as soon as possible.

"No, of course not, you have to be there for your sister. I have many air miles, I think I can get a flight too . .."

"Steve ... I need to go alone." And the look on his partner's face was a mixture of shocked, deeply hurt and disappointed and Danny almost faltered in his decision.

"Oh, okay. Of course there's no problem with you going, we have nothing urgent around here right now." Steve tried to keep his tone nonchalant, but he felt as if he had been stabbed in the back. Danny was ashamed of him and wanted to keep it hidden like a dirty secret.

"Babe, I'm sorry, but I don't think this is the right time to have this conversation with my parents. I hope you understand." Danny would not understand if the situation was reversed. But his parents were traditional, it would not be easy to talk to them and say he now had a gay relationship. Now wasn't the right time.

"Sure, send me news of them, okay? Have a good trip." He forced himself to smile, but Danny knew he'd just torn the heart of the guy he loved.

Steve went back to work on his report while Danny left his office thinking that perhaps he had just lost the love of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first part.
> 
> As in the first story, I hope the mistakes have not made the experience of reading very frustrating and I am open to constructive criticism and to help me improve my writing and my English.
> 
> Writing fanfiction helps me study, so feel free to correct me ok?
> 
> Thank you for your time, he is very valuable to me.


	2. Twisting deeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have no words to thank the return of all of you, it's simply amazing! Kudos, reviews, followers ... is simply fantastic, thank you very much again.
> 
> I wanted to say something before continuing, I love Danny, right? Even when he complains, he gets upset, yells at Steve, I love the guy. I think he just screams and gets angry with who he loves, so we know he really loves his partner because he yells at him the whole time, doesn't he?
> 
> So don't worry, I'm not going to make him a bad guy, in this chapter he already understands that he has done a huge mess and will start thinking about a way to sort things out.
> 
> Another important detail is the time that this story happens, it is in the first season before the episode of Danny's brother appear and become a criminal and before the tour in the petroglyphs where Steve was injured.
> 
> Thanks also to McDannofn4ever for help with grammatical errors, as I said in the first chapter I am totally open to criticism right? Do not be afraid to correct me if you see something wrong in the text okay?
> 
> I'm not native, so take it easy with English mistakes. Don't kill me and I hope it's not frustrating to read what I write. If so, I'm sorry, I am trying my best ;)

* * *

The rest of the day passed without any new case and also without any of the usual jokes between the two partners. Chin and Kono knew there was something wrong but it wasn't their place to intrude.

At the end of the day, Steve left without saying goodbye to anyone and Danny felt even worse because he was causing suffering to his lover. But he couldn't just get into his parents' house with his very masculine partner and let go that he was bisexual and was dating a man who also happened to be his boss. It was the perfect recipe for disaster and he couldn't do that to Bridget, it was her moment and she needed her family united and focused just on her.

But before leaving, he went to Chin ask him something he knew the older officer would do and he needed it to be able to travel slightly more in peace.

"Hey brah, Steve said you're going to Jersey." Chin was always the image of calm.

"Yes and I want to ask you something."

"Anything brah."

"Can you keep an eye on him? Be the backup he never asks for?" Danny would get convicted if he left without making sure the idiot he loves would stay in one piece until he could return to try to regain their relationship.

"Always Danny, for you both. I don't know what happened between you guys today and it's not even my place to ask, but whatever it is that really hurted him and you should fix it before you go." Yes, he had broken Steve's heart very well. He wouldn't be earning the boyfriend award of the year any time soon.

"Thank you Chin. I'll try."

"He really loves you, he wants to forgive you for sure. Steve is the most forgiving guy I know."

And with his heart in the hand, Danny left the HQ feeling the biggest bastard in the world. 

* * *

Steve went home and threw himself into the ocean, swimming was the best way to clear and to settle things in his troubled mind, it was always the best way to put thoughts together again. But today, not even frantically swimming in the sea had helped to understand why Danny didn't want him around Jersey.

Then he thought that maybe Danny didn't want to lose his family if they didn't accept him in a gay relationship and now it made sense, after all Steve had no family to ask for approval, but Danny had and of course he didn't want to lose them. Steve would also be reticent if he had father, mother and siblings to worry about.

He needed to understand that perhaps he didn't occupy in the heart of his partner the same place that Danny occupied in his own. Danny had other people in his life, people who were on a plateau higher than Steve. Life was like this and he needed to do what he always did, push those feelings into the back of his mind and put his well-resolved face in place.

* * *

Danny came to Steve's house and saw him swimming back to shore. He knew that Steve would only swim after work when he was stressed and of course he would discount his frustrations in physical exercise and not in a fight with Danny. Steve is not the type to scream and talk what he feels, he swallows the feelings and continues the life. He learned this when his mother died and his father sent him to the Navy without worrying if his son had already resolved the loss of the most important woman of his life in his teenage head.

Danny goes to the lanai and when Steve sees him, he doesn't smile, a wrinkle forms between his eyes and he takes the towel he left in one of the chairs by the sea and follows to Danny, serious, tense.

"Are you okay, Danny? Shouldn't you be on the way to the airport now?" _Danny._ _Not Danno_. The NJ detective never imagined that it would be so necessary to be called by the nickname that only Grace would call him until he came to Hawaii. It hurt like hell.

"I wanted to talk to you before I left."

"We talked earlier in the office, you explained everything to me and I understood."

"Steve... I don't know how to say this, but I want you to know that I'm not ashamed of you and our relationship, I just think now is not the time to dump it all on my mom and dad, they're worried about Bridget, I can't put another problem at stake, it's not fair with them..." It was hard to say every word through the knot that was forming in his throat. Danny loves his family, but he also loves Steve and doesn't want to lose him, this whole situation sucks.

"Hey, I understand Danny, you're just protecting your family and that's what makes you so special, you're loyal to the ones you love and I understand." Even though I no longer have family to protect, I know I would do the same if I had." He smiled so small and there was so much sadness in his eyes that if Bridget wasn't at risk of die, Danny would cancel this trip now. But she was his younger sister and he had a duty to be there with her.

"Of course you have family! You have me and Grace, you have Chin and Konoand we all love you as family and we would all do anything for you asshole!" He would make Steve understand this even if he had to open his head and shove in there. At these times he wanted to just punch John McGarrett in the face for doing this to his son.

"Danny, you need to go, or you're going to lose your flight. I'm fine, okay? I really do, don't worry about me, just worry about being there for your sister." He tried to smile, but it still didn't look like a real smile.

Danny sighed and shook his head resignedly, this hadn't gone as he planned.

"Just promise me you'll be careful while I'm gone. I don't have to worry out of my mind that you're running the streets of Hawaii without backup doing all kinds of craziness."

"I promise Danny, now go everything will be fine. "

Famous last words.

Then Danny stood on tiptoe and kissed Steve good-bye, something twisted inside his heart like a bad foreboding. 

* * *

He had just arrived in Jersey and was already exhausted. He knew that it wasn't just time zone difference and a very long flight, no matter how much he denied himself he knew that the reason his mind was working at full capacity since leaving Oahu was his idiot partner who had taken his heart as he had with his whole life, without warning and no chance of denial on Danny's part.

He felt like a big ass for making Steve feel rejected and he knew that this was how he would feel because the guy is a well of insecurity. Incredible, because he is the safest self-guy he knows when he is commanding his team, but when it comes to feelings he has the maturity of a 5 years old.

And what hurts the most is that it's not the guy's fault. He was always disappointed by the people who should have been there for him. Danny never imagined himself to be someone who would hurt Steve that way.

He knows that. But he also knows he would never put anyone, not even Steve over his family. Your parents, your daughter, your brothers. They would always come first.

What a dumb thought after all. He doesn't need to put anyone in front of anyone because his heart has space to love them all.

He loves Steve as he loves everyone else. That way you feel that the world will end up just thinking of losing him.

He has to be man enough to assume that Steve is not here now with him, but there are miles away alone and suffering because Danny is a coward. Yes, a coward because he could have simply brought his partner, introduced him as his boyfriend and deal with the problems. Then everyone would be fine and he would have his love at his side being his support as he always was.

But here he was, enjoying the consequences of his cowardice. Sitting next to his little sister's hospital bed, alone and trying to imagine how Steve is feeling right now back in Hawaii.

He then decides to placate at least a bit of anxiety by sending a text message, he doesn't have the guts to call because he knows he will catch the sadness in Steve's voice and he will crumble right here in front of Bridget if he does.

_ **Danny: ** Hey babe! How's it going? _

It took him seven long minutes for him to feel his phone vibrate with an answer, he never imagined that a few minutes would feel so long.

_ **Steve:** All right. Grace called me today, asked why I wasn't with you. She thought it was rude of me. _

_ **Danny:** Oh babe ...  did you tell her the truth? _

_ **Steve:** I  just said that you needed to be there for your family, that it wasn't the right time for me to meet the family of yours. That we'll do it later. _

Let for Steve try to make things easier for him when he didn't have to. It was Danny's fault and he was relieving things for him. Was it possible to fall more in love with the goof? Yeah. Danny fell in love with him all over again and felt like shit even worse.

_ **Danny:** I'm so sorry, Steve, I'm sorry right now about my decision. _

_ **Steve:** You don't have to. I already said that I understand. _

_ **Danny:** But I still know I hurt you. I'll apologize properly when I get back. _

_ **Steve:** Look Danny,  we got a case, I gotta go now. Take care. _

_ **Danny:** Stay safe, please. _

_ **Steve: ** I'll stay. Don't worry if you can't talk to me, it can get complicatedyou know. Just take care of your sister. _

If there was any doubt that he was deeply hurt, the conversation had confirmed. He was distant, completely different from the romantic doofus he was when he sent sms to Danny and he felt cold inside.

This time he had messed everything in epic way and he couldn't blame anyone but himself. 

* * *

Danny sighed for the thousandth time since he'd received the last message from Steve. Bridget had enough of waiting for him to open.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you?"

Danny looked surprised at the bed to see his sister awake looking at him with that accusing look that was all hers.

"Nothing is happening." He tried to divert, but knew it was useless, Bridget had always been able to read him like a book since they were children.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Danny! You've been tense and distracted since you arrived and now you're looking at the cell phone as you look at suspects, of course there's something wrong. Come on tell me, it's not like I've got anything else interesting to do anyway." She tried to ease the mood by smiling at her brother, but whatever was happening was serious because he couldn't smile back.

"Okay, but you have to promise not to tell our parents, at least for now, I want to talk to them myself."

"Okay, now you're scaring me. Are you okay? Is Grace all right?"

"Yes, everyone is fine as I told you." Danny took a deep breath, closed his eyes and saidfearing the reaction of his very pregnant sister before him.

"I have a new person in my life there in Hawaii and I left that person there and now I'm feeling like an idiot."

Bridget looked at her older brother as if a second head had been born on his shoulders.

"Okay and why is this a big deal? Everyone knows you loved Rachel, but it was only natural that one day you would meet another woman. Why didn't you bring her in? Mom and Dad would love to meet her." It didn't make sense to Bridget because her brother was so upset about a new girlfriend.

"It's not a girlfriend, Bridget..." He hoped her wit worked and he didn't have to elaborate much.

Slowly Bridget understood and her mouth dropped open.

"A man? Since when have you been gay?" This was news to her.

"I'm not gay, I'm bisexual, I always was, I just hid very well by now."

"That's really a big deal."

"I know, so I left him there, he wanted to come with me, but I didn't find the time right. He's very upset with me, thinking I'm ashamed of him." The last part came out weird, as the knot in the throat grew larger.

"You didn't bring him exactly why? How long did you intend to hide him from us? Forever?"

"No! Of course not, but you're sick, our parents don't need more stress and now it's about you and your baby, I didn't want to mess with this. It's a very big thing to tell everyone that I'm with Steve now ..."

"Oh my God, is your boyfriend your boss?" Now she was shocked. His brother had just said that he liked men and women, that he was currently dating a man and that this boyfriend was nothing less than his boss. Danny really doesn't know how to do anything in half.

"Yes. Do you understand now? If your reaction is being this way imagine Mom and Daddy? They will freak out."

"Danny ... you will not be able to hide it from our mother for half a second." Once she's alone with you, she'll know. Yes, they'll be shocked at first, but then everything will be fine, you know that."

"I know and now I feel like a coward for leaving him there thinking I don't love him and I'm ashamed of our relationship." Danny put his head in the hands in an unsuccessful attempt to calm his emotions. Bridget reached out to stroke her older brother's back in an attempt to convey some comfort.

"If he really loves you, he'll forgive you. But you're going to have to ask very well, you're going to have a lot of work when you go home to regain him. And you'll be damned if you don't bring him too soon to meet us. If you are happy with him, we will be happy for you."

Danny smiled, because that was precisely what he needed, a tug of his ear to finally understand that his family just wanted him to be happy no matter how. Maybe things would have been strange for a while, but he knew that after meeting Steve his family would fall in love with him as he did.

Maybe he could still make things work out after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's hear about Steve and the team in the next chapter, don't leave me things are going to go crazy soon.
> 
> Thank you for your time and I hope it was a fun trip until here.


	3. It is a law of physics, every action has a reaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter I am more surprised with the acceptance of my story, thank you very much even I win the day every time my cell phone vibrates with a new kudo or review, you guys are awesome!
> 
> A new point I need to make, in my story Danny's mother looks more like a mother than the show did seem. She is wise, intelligent and caring. I need her to be like that for things to work out right? His father is also a very understanding guy, in the end Danny will have a big family that supports him in my AU.
> 
> Sorry for the delay of the chapter, but my process is a bit slow because I think, write and then I have to polish English to eliminate the maximum of errors, so it takes a while right?
> 
> The warnings of always apply and enough from blah blah blah and let's get down to what matters.

* * *

Bridget's husband arrived later to stay with his wife until the baby was born, which was scheduled for the next day and Danny returned to his parents' house. As soon as he parked his rented car and came near the front door he smelled the wonderful smell of his mother's lasagna. A smile graced his face, she knew he loved his lasagna and that was one of the many things he missed fiercely while living in Hawaii.

He opened the door and his mother yelled for him from the kitchen. His father was sitting on the couch in front of the TV grunting with a baseball game and smiled warmly at his son. Danny went where his mother was. She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and immediately her smiling eyes became serious. Bridget was right, he wouldn't be able to hide his frustration from his mother for more than half a second. Clara was very perceptive, he suspects that he inherited his detective instincts from her.

"Are you okay, baby? Any problems with Bridget?"

"No, she's fine." He tried to smile, but Clara took his redirection attempt.

"Danny, baby ..." He sighed and ran his hand over his face. He didn't bring Steve on this trip because he didn't want to have this conversation while the health of Bridget and his new nephew were in danger, but Danny didn't imagine it would be so hard to stay away from his lover while knowing his partner was in Hawaii chasing villains with a broken heart because of him. In the end he just messed up with Steve and was going to end up telling his parents anyway.

Danny swallowed and decided that talking to his mother was the best way to begin to sort it all out. Talking to Clara about his feelings had always helped, she was a sensitive woman and he needed her support now more than ever.

"I did something terrible and I don't know if I'll be able to correct it..." Clara's eyes widened and Danny immediately reassured her. He and his big mouth always scaring everyone.

"I didn't commit any crime mom, I just destroyed something what I searched my whole life."

"Danny, you're being strangely enigmatic here, I need more than that to help you ..."

"I met someone special in Hawaii and our relationship may not be the most conventional..." He didn't even finish speaking when his mother interrupted, she had a wicked smile in the lips and Danny narrowed her eyes. Yes, Clara was the best detective in the family.

"I know and I know who is."

"How could that be? Bridget! I asked her not to tell you anything..." He could not believe that his sister had betrayed him.

"Hey! No one told me anything, I just knew it for a while. Children forget that mothers always know." Danny ran a hand over his face and felt emotionally exhausted. So much confusion to end this way. Now, in this moment he missed Steve's strong arms telling him that everything would be all right. Comforting him. Holding him.

"How did you find out?"

"I didn't investigate, I just felt." Danny raised a doubtful eyebrow. Clara turned on the counter to finish a salad as she spoke as if it were the most natural subject in the world.

"When Rachel left our state and went to Hawaii and you had to follow her to stay close to Grace it was like if a part of my heart was ripped out.You were miserable at the airport while saying goodbye to us and I prayed every day at night for something to happen and you can come home." She wiped a tear that ran down her cheek and Danny was fighting his own.

"So you always called me, saying that HPD hated you, that you were despised, that no one believed in your competence as a police officer, and didn't give a damn about everything you ever did in the Newark police. I wanted to catch a flight and hug you, but I couldn't."

Danny smiled at her mother, she had always been affectionate.

"Until one day you changed. His sadness turned to frustration. You were always very angry on the phone as you talked about that task force you had been dragged by Steve to. But in addition to the frustration I felt that you were finally getting on with it. You had a job where your teammates believed in you and your abilities, and no matter how Steve seemed crazy, he always got the best of you as a cop."

And that was true. Steve was the first person in Hawaii who believed he had enough skills. He would be eternally grateful for that.

"His frustration was changing over time as well, even though you never stopped complaining and ranting about him and the very dangerous job, you started to seem fond of him and I knew he was a great guy when he got Rachel to stay in Hawaii with Grace because he didn't want you to leave."

Danny smiled sweetly at the memory.

"After a while you stopped complaining about your job and started to look more adjusted, happier and started talking about Steve with affection. You called me in despair when you accidentally hit him during a case and broke his leg. There I knew that feeling was more than just friendship, but I preferred to give you a chance to reach us. It's really a shame that the moment is this, when we're so focused on Bridget's baby. But I always knew you would come to me, even if it took a little while." She smiled sweetly and stroked the tears down her son's face. Danny felt like a little boy again.

"Wow, I didn't know I was so obvious." He said smiling through his tears, rubbing his eyes in the attempt to buy time to recompose himself.

"Love is obvious baby and I know you love him. Why is not he here with you? Has any case kept you in Hawaii?" Danny giggled at his mother's question.

"The reason he's not here is me." She looked at him confused and the blond man continued.

"I thought you wouldn't accept him, you wouldn't accept our relationship and I didn't want to bring this mess to you and daddy by the time Bridget is sick." It was hard to say this, after his mother's love speech.

"Danny! What did you tell him?"

"That I needed to come alone. That this wasn't the time to tell you and dad that I'm in a homosexual relationship ..."

Before he could finish he heard his name shouted in his father's deep voice. Danny almost jumped out of his skin.

"Daniel Michael Williams!"

_Shit_. It  was all Danny could think of. His father then walked around the counter and crossed his arms in front of his son. He felt like when he was a kid and got into a fight at school and his father put him on punishment.

"I'm shocked with you ..."

"Dad ..."

"No! You will hear me now..."

"Honey ..."

"I'm going to talk now and you two are going to listen to me, especially you Daniel."

He really has spoiled everything. The problem he tried to avoid leaving Steve in Hawaii was exploding in his face now anyway.

"Contrary to what you may be imagining, I am more shocked that you have pushed your relationship with McGarrett under the rug as if it were a dirt to be hidden than with the fact that you are bisexual. Do you think your mother and I never knew?"

Danny was utterly speechless now. Of all he expected to hear from his father, never in a million years would be this. His eyes were wide, bloodshot of try to hide the emotions that wanted to overflow and his mouth was open, lips dry and breath panting.

"We always knew honey, we just respected your privacy and you never cared about boys after all, so we thought you'd just stay with the women." His father shook his head in agreement, but his arms were still crossed, expression still serious.

"It's a shock for any parent to find out that their son is in a same-sex relationship, I'm not going to lie to you and I'm worried that you're dating your own boss, which means if that relationship blows up your job with great pay will blow up together, but this will never be an excuse for what you told him."

"I  know ..."

"I know you know and now you're going to fix it, because your mother and I teach you better than destroying people's hearts. You can't get involved in a relationship with someone and just discard it when it's convenient. Did you feel when Rachel left you for a richer guy? "

"Oh  God ..."

"Yeah. I think now you understand how stupid it was."

"I ... I'll call him now and tomorrow after Ben is born I'm going to go back to Hawaii and talk to him, apologize."

"Apologizing is not enough, you'll need to make him believe again that he's important to you, that's not an easy task."

"But he worth the fight."

"So don't give up, son. Bring him here as soon as possible, I need to tell him what I expect from someone who dates one of my children."

"Dad! I'm not twelve. It's ridiculous."

"Children never grow enough for their parents." Now his father had uncrossed his arms and his expression was soft, tender. Wow! His parents had a more modern thought than he.

"I know." And he smiled remembering Grace. She would never grow up enough to stop being his monkey.

"I'll swallow my pride and accept your relationship with Steve as long as he cares for you and your feelings."

Danny just smiled. It was good to have a family like this. He had forgotten there for a moment, but this whole situation had made him remember.

* * *

Eight calls missed and Danny knew there was something wrong. Steve was the kind of guy who answered his cell phone always and when he did not answer it was because he was in the middle of a takedown or in some trouble.

Danny didn't want to think about the third alternative, 'unconscious in the hospital', but unfortunately it was a great possibility with the schmuck. The fact that he also couldn't talk to Kono and Chin frightened him even more.

Steve hadn't even answered his last texts and he had answered everyone else until he picked up the case when he said contact could be difficult.

But it was after the expedient in Hawaii and few cases took so long. _Damn it!_ Danny  wanted to be there now, wanted to know what the hell was going on.

After the long talk with his parents over dinner, Danny was feeling the worst asshole on the face of the earth and he had felt that way over the last couple of days. His mother just smiled sympathetically and said that what she wanted most was for him to be happy, no matter with whom and if Steve was the guy who made his heart beat stronger, she was totally in favor. She also gave him a piece of his mind for what he did to his partner and demanded that he call him and invite him to come to Jersey as soon as possible.

His father stayed a big part of the conversation in silence, which startled Danny. After a while he said that he just needed to get used to the idea of his son, who until now seemed completely heterosexual was actually bi. But he was again the loving father Danny remembered and said the same thing as his mother, that the only thing that mattered was that he was happy. Then he took the second blame of the night for treating Steve like dirt to be swept to under the rug.

Danny tried once more to get to her boyfriend and start begging for forgiveness, but Steve's phone kept going stubbornly to the mailbox. Danny's instincts were screaming at the top of lungs with him, but there was nothing he could do thousands of miles away.

The detective went to sleep with the feeling that something was happening to Steve, he just hoped it was not serious.


	4. Heart attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? Wow! I deserve congratulations :P
> 
> Okay, on this one we have a little more action, less talk to make Danny understand that he was a jerk and more of the real consequences of the attitude he took.
> 
> Let's hear about Steve and the team early on.
> 
> All warnings of the previous chapters apply, okay? I will not repeat them again so as not to be tiring.
> 
> And never forget, English is not my official language ;)

* * *

Chin was going crazy in Queens Medical's waiting room. Kono and Steve shot at the same time in surgery at the same time and he wanted to escape to the mountains.

His cell vibrated for the thousandth time in the last hour and he saw several missed calls from Danny. _Great_ _!_ He  was going to have to deal with the detective's wrath when he discovered that Steve had been badly injured. He wanted to get away from that too, but he knew that as long as Danny didn't get a return he would not stop calling and talking to him might very well be a distraction while he waited for news from the two teammates.

He re-dialed Danny, knowing it was dawn now in Jersey and sighed for strength and patience for the superior entities who could help him with the hurricane that would be Danny.

Danny answered on the second ring, the voice clearly from who just woke up.

_"Chin! I've been trying to talk to you for hours! What's going on?"_

Yes. Danny in all his essence. Even half asleep still.

"Danny..."

_ "Oh God, he's hurt isn't he? Tell me it's not serious ..." _

"Calm down, Danny. Steve and Kono were shot while we were interviewing a suspect, both are in surgery now."

_ "Jesus... How bad is it?" _

"Kono was shot in the arm, the bullet stay inside so they are operating. Steve took one on the shoulder and the other on the chest and is also in surgery."

_ "Shit, this is too bad ..." _

"I know, I'm not going to lie to you. No one's told me anything yetand it's been two hours since we've been here."

_ "Are you okay? You hurt?" _

"No I'm fine, I was in the next room at the time of the shooting. Steve managed to kill the bastard, but they had already been hit."

_ "Hell! I'll look for a return flight as fast as possible, let me know as soon as you hear something, please Chin." _

"Danny! And your sister? You can't leave her alone now, Steve wouldn't want that."

_ "She will understand, she has the husband, the in-laws and our family with her. Steve needs me now, needs us. We are his family. You know I can't stay here while he is at risk of death..." _

"Yeah, I know buddy, but I'm here Danny, I can handle things."

_ "Of course you can, but you don't have to do it alone, isn't that what do you guys keep telling me all the time? _

Chin laughed. Let Danny use their words against them at the worst possible time.

"Alright Brah, I'll wait for you here then. As soon as I know something I'll get in touch right?"

_ "Thank you Chin." _

"Always Danny,  always ."

* * *

A few minutes after hanging up with Danny, Chin learned that Kono was out of surgery and recovering and would be in a private room soon.

He sighed in relief, one of them was on way to recovery, now he was waiting for news of Steve. He just hoped they were as good as Kono's.

Chin walked away from the waiting room to make some calls. He needed to warn Kono's parents that everything would be all right.

He also decided to send a message to Danny. Good news could help the man who probably was jumping on the walls in Jersey now.

_ **Chin:** Kono is out of surgery, she'll be fine. No news from Steve yet. _

After advising who needed to be advised, Chin returned to continue the vigil for his teammates.

* * *

Danny was freaking out in his room at his parents' house. He had his laptop turned on looking frantic for a flight  to Hawaii as early as possible. He tried to be quiet so as not to wake the whole house but Clara still listened and worried. Maternal instincts never cease to exist even after the children grow up and leave home.

"Danny? Honey, something wrong?"

"Sorry mom I didn't want to wake you up." He said wiping a tear that ran down his face. His mother saw but chose to respect his dignity.

"It's alright baby, what happened? Were you able to talk to Steve?"

"He was shot during a case, he's being operated now and it's bad." Danny lost the fight against despair, let his face fall in the hands and sobbed, all fear of losing Steve and don't be there to say goodbye bursting into tears.

Clara stepped forward and hugged her eldest son, the one who had often been one of the pillars of the house, who cared about everyone, who suffered because he was carrying his heart in his sleeve, but also made mistakes for being human.

"Oh my darling, I'm so sorry.When are you back?"

Danny sniffed, tried to compose himself, and looked at his mother who was trying to comfort him like she did when he was a child and scraped the knee.

"There's a flight that leaves tomorrow at 10 am. I'm sorry to have to go so fast but I need to see him, be there for him."

"I know baby, of course you have to go, you love him and that's what our family does for who we love and when he's well again you're going back with him okay?"

Danny felt extremely loved at that moment even though he knew he didn't deserve it after having hurt the feelings of one of the sweetest people he ever knew. Why in spite of his hardened appearance, Steve was sweet inside for those who bothered to get through the emotional mess outside.

"Thank you mom, I'll fix the mess I did."

She smiled again, hugged her overly dramatic son and held him close to her heart in the hope of gathering the broken bits of his tortured soul.

* * *

"Oh babe, what did they do to you?"

Danny was shocked by the appearance of Steve, lying completely still on the UTI's bed. The litany of complications he had suffered as a result of the two bullets still sounded clear in Danny's head ...

_ ... a  perforated lung that required surgery and a ventilator, two ribs broken by the impact of the bullet on the right thorax, broken right collarbone from the shoulder shot, lots of lost blood that required several transfusions and extreme pain it took the doctors to sedate him ... _

Looking at his partner lying in the huge hospital bed, Danny wanted to cry. Steve was still at risk, a lot could still go wrong. And even if he overcame all obstacles the way to recovery would be rocky at best.

And Danny couldn't shake the thought that if he had taken his lover with him to Jersey the man wouldn't be here now fighting for his life.

The detective who always had words for everything was choking on them at that moment, tears of guilt and regret burned in his eyes. He was here, but Steve was not even able to notice. He could still leave for good at any moment.

And he would go away resentful of Danny. This hurt more than the image in front of him, machines keeping your partner stronger than life stable. Bandages covered his chest and shoulder and the skin was so pale it rivaled the sheets. The extremely guilty detective sat down next to his lover and took his good hand, careful not to disturb the IV on top of it and the wrist monitor on the index finger. Steve would be complaining loudly of all this paraphernalia if he was awake. Danny caught himself smiling at the prospect.

Gently he stroked the knuckles of the sleeping man and began to speak. After all, if there was something that Daniel Williams was good at, it was to talk, at any time.

"Three days Steven, I leave you for three miserable days and you almost get yourself killed. What did I tell you? I remember asking you to be careful. But I don't know why I still ask for this kind of thing. You never listen. You suck at listening to other people and now look at you..." Danny sighed audibly trying to keep the emotions from exploding all over the place and continued.

"... you're going to drive me crazy when you wake up. The doctors will tell that you need to rest but if there's something you're worse than waiting for backup is resting. It'll be hell, keep you in bed, using the sling for the arm, taking the meds..." Danny said that part smiling because he was yearning to see Steve awake and complaining. He must definitely be losing his mind.

"... but nothing will make me happier than taking care of you back to your normal self-annoying." Cause seeing you like this babe, looking half-dead is destroying my heart. Apologize for the idiot I was and for not being here and not being the backup you needed." Danny got up, wiped the tears from his cheeks and gave a loving kiss to Steve's temple.

He left the room. He needed to see Kono too. And he needed to get himself back together before he was back to watch over Steve's unconsciousness and begin the process of begging for the forgiveness of the man he loved.


	5. A difficult awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who is following my story, you are sensational!
> 
> In this chapter Steve will wake up for the first time after being shot and operated. He'll have a rough first contact with Danny. Soon they will start the difficult conversation, don'ot abandon me please, we will get there soon.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter.
> 
> And once again just to reaffirm, English is not my official language, so forgive the grammatical errors, I try not to commit them so much but it's complicated.

* * *

Steve always laughed at the movies and TV series when he saw someone recover consciousness in the hospital after being badly injured. He did not know where the writers took that material, it's never easy and it's never painless.

Shots hurt like a bitch and keep you from moving as little without groaning in pain, imagine two of them at the same time. Broken ribs keep you from breathing without pain every second and it takes weeks to heal not just a few hours. You will be walking like an eighty year old with arthritis for a long time.

Anesthesia makes him nauseous always. Every time he needs surgery the return to consciousness is hell, pain and nausea. Broken ribs and pucking are enough to beg to get back into the world of the induced coma.

He began to regain lucidity and knew he had a lot of injuries. He remembers to take two shots. The first on the shoulder as he shoved Kono to the ground as the shooter began to shoot them. The second in his stomach when he hit his own on the guy's chest. What he still did not know was if Kono had escaped unscathed, he hoped so, he hated seeing his teammates hurt, he always preferred that the only one in the hospital was him, the leader.

Slowly he began to become aware of the surroundings. The smell of antiseptic, the forced air on his nose that indicated he was in oxygen, his right shoulder rigid and painful, the pressure in the throbbing abdomen, probably thick bandages. The constant beep at his side indicated vital signs monitors, a clip on the left indicator, IV on the top of the hand. Full set.

Breathing as deep as he could without fainting in pain he opened his eyes, only two slits, but it was the most he could manage at the moment and woke up to what he knew was a white room. In front of him was a huge glass window that led to the corridor where there was also a nursing station. ICU then. Okay, it was big then. Larger than he imagined.

Something must have shown at the station that he was awake, because a young nurse came into his room. She had a sweet smile on her face, although it seemed comforting to the man suffering in the hospital bed, Steve had eyes for just a smile in the world and despite being deeply hurt by his owner right now, it still didn't make him want to think about another person. When Danny came back they'd sort things out. For the good or for the bad.

"Welcome back Commander, how do you feel?" She asked in a low voice, for which he thanked her inwardly because his head beat to the beat of his pulse. Another side effect of anesthesia.

"Bad, really bad." He was alone with her there was no reason to be a hero about feeling like crap.

"I'll take a look at the doctor's recommendations for you, but that little button by your side dispenses a preprogrammed dose of painkillers whenever the pain is too much. Do not worry that you can't overdose yourself because it releases only enough."

"Morphine is not it?" He knew it was.

"Yes, your wounds are very painful, only morphine can relieve you for now."

"Thank you." And as soon as he finished to say a wave of pain crossed him and she gave him a contrite look.

"It is not necessary to thank, commander. Whenever you need anything, just call us. Oh, and by the way, I'll tell your partner that you're awake. He spent the night all by your side, he's in your other teammate's room right now."

Kono! His very cluttered brain immediately accused. Damn it! He had not been able to protect her and she'd been hurt too. But wait a minute, Danny? Was Danny here? Had he come back from Jersey? Oh God...

"... commander! Commander ... please you need to calm down, your blood pressure can not be so high ... I'll call your doctor ..."

The nurse rushed to the nursing station and called Steve's doctor, at that very moment Danny was returning to her boyfriend's room with a cup of coffee in hands and ran as soon as he saw the whole movement of people in green scrubs coming in and out room. He didn't even bother with someone telling him to wait outside, no one in the world could stop him from running to Steve's side at that moment.

The Steve vision in the bed almost made his heart stop for the second time that day. Steve was struggling and trying to get up, two nurses tried to hold the much larger man without hurting him anymore, the other was standing outside paging his surgeon. Danny dropped his coffee cup on the bedside table and leaned over to his partner who had not yet realized his arrival.

"Steven, calm down, you're going to get hurt even more!" Danny yelled to pull Steve out of his trance. And it worked, noting Danny looking at him with a look of fear, concern and exasperation, a look that was exclusively Danny Steve calmed down. The nurses cautiously let gotheir arms and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Danny ..." His voice was only louder than a whisper.

"Yes, I am here. Now can you explain to me what the hell you were trying to do?"

"Kono, I needed to know about Kono ..." His previous blast had drained him of strength.

"And it seemed like a good idea to go check it out yourself? You were at the gates of death in the last hours and five minutes after being awakened, you just wanted to walk around the hospital? What is the matter with you Steven?"

He was very tired now, fighting the exhaustion but he needed to know that Kono was okay.

"Kono ..." He managed to say.

"She is fine. A shot in the arm and will getting discharged by the end of the day. You saved her. Now please be quiet, we've had enough drama from you two, insane freaks."

"Why did you come back?" And the question stung at the same time that caught Danny by surprise. Did he really think Danny would not come back as soon as he found out he was badly wounded?

"Of course I came back, what did you think I would do? Steve was fading fast, but he started to say he did not expect Danny back to him, not while looking after his sister in Jersey, but the doctor interrupted them.

"Commander McGarrett, I'm glad to see you awake, but Nani here told me that you had a peak of high blood pressure, which I have to say is not good in your condition."

The doctor walked around Danny and looked at the monitors, much calmer now, looked at the nurses' notes on the chart and looked again at Steve's vital signs and incisions, when he finished his check up the morphine had worked and the eyes of his patient have closed even against his will.

"Detective Williams I thought I had asked not to stress my patient ..."

"Hey! I wasn't here when that happened." He said with his hands raised in surrender and looked at Nani who nodded in confirmation.

"I was checking him and I just said his partner was here and I was going to warn him, and then he started hyperventilating and trying to get up."

Danny lost his breath. Hearing that he was around had caused this reaction on Steve? But why?

"He also wanted to know about the official Kalakaua." The nurse continued with a guilty look on her face.

"He was trying to get up to check on her." Danny said, tone of reprimand.

"Okay, that's why we usually ban visitors to ICUs and any outside information for serious patients. The commander is still very weak and another episode like that can lead to cardiac arrest, and I'll have to ask you to leave for the rest of the day, detective..."

"This is not happening." Danny answered before the doctor could finish the sentence. He had not come back from Jersey on the first flight he found to just leave Steve's side now just because things got a little complicated. He was staying, with or without the doctor's permission.

"Detective, we can't risk another episode like this when he wakes up and see you here again, I don't know what's going on between you both and it's none of my business, but he clearly was agitated by your presence."

Danny looked at the doctor as if a second head had been born over his neck. Steve wasn't agitated because he was here, he was worried about Kono, he was trying to get up to see Kono. Of course that was it. Why would he be uncomfortable with Danny's presence?

The doctor sighed audibly and pinched the bridge of his nose. The stubbornness of the Five-O members was known among doctors in every hospital on the island and he knew it was a losing battle.

"Okay, you stay, but if he wakes up and the vital signs get worse you're leaving or I have to get you out myself. The health of my patients always comes first, so behave yourself. "

"Yes,  thanks ."

The doctor turned on his heels and left the room clearly complaining about law officers who were very important.

Nani was finishing the last checks on Steve before leaving, checking if the IVs were all running normally, the pulse-measuring clip, adjusting the horrible hospital gown and fluffing the pillows. Danny narrowed his eyes at her, it seemed that the young woman was taking the opportunity to lay her hands on Steve more than was strictly necessary.

After some more agitation around the sleeping man the nurse left. Not without first reinforcing that she would be on the outside watching Steve's reactions.

Danny sat in the chair near of his beloved. He placed his hand carefully over Steve's left, sighed and kissed her temple fondly, stroking his short soft hair, much softer than it looked.

"You try to be well soon Steven, we need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will come very soon ;)


	6. The first attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said that the next chapter was coming soon I didn't say?
> 
> Here it is, the first attempt at conversation between Steve and Danny. Will it work?
> 
> I followed some advice and I'm going to give Danny a hard time, he's going to have to struggle to regain his relationship.
> 
> It will be all right in the end, but the journey will be a little long.
> 
> I hope you like it, I particularly enjoyed it.
> 
> All previous warnings still apply here.

* * *

Steve slept for hours on end, without any agitation. Danny didn't leave his side except for brief trips to the toilet. It didn't feel right to leave him alone even for short periods of time.

During McGarrett's sleep he had time to think. Had Steve really been bothered by his presence before? The thought of being painful to his partner was terrible and yes, if Steve told him he wanted to be alone, Danny would leave. It was going to break his heart in pieces but he would let Steve have his space. He just hoped that this request wouldn't happen.

Some time later, Danny heard a slightly distressed groan coming from the bed, immediately he was standing, next to Steve that showed signs of waking up. Suddenly two dark blue eyes stared at him through huge lashes, the kind that women would kill to have.

"Danny ..." His voice was still low and painfully hoarse.

" Hey  babe , are  you feeling  better now?"

Steve shook his head slightly and narrowed the eyes.

"Are you in pain? Do you want me to call the nurse?"

"I don't want anymore painkillers, tired of sleeping all the time ..." And he maked the point with a huge yawn. Danny laughed at the image.

"But you need to rest. Sleeping is critical for your body to replenish energies again."

"Why did you come back?"

That question again. And it hurt again because Steve clearly didn't think himself important enough for Danny to come back from Jersey after he almost died.

"Steve... I don't know what's going on in your thick skull right now, but I got the first flight back as soon as possible when I knew you'd were injured during the case.There was no way that I would stay in Jersey when you were here in Hawaii undergoing a critical surgery."

Steve's eyes were huge now, wide awake and the doubt Danny saw in them took his breath away. Obviously his words before going to Jersey had hurt Steve deeper than the SEAL showed up.

"I don't understand..."

"What you don't understand? Tell me, we have all the time in the world here." Danny sat back in the chair and folded his arms across the chest, he didn't want to stress Steve, but they had to figure it out.

"You ... you went to Jersey to be with your sister, I know I'm a bit out of time here, but I know you must have returned before the baby was born because I took the shots one day before the date for childbirth..." And talk after staying in a ventilator hurts the throat. Steve swallowed and grimaced. Danny understood and ran to his side with a glass of water and a straw. Steve took a little sip, it was all he could manage without pucking all over the place. Damn anesthesia.

"Danny, I told you that I understand and I really do, it was not a lie to make you feel better, I understand that your family is your priority ..."

"No!" Danny spoke louder than he should have, which earned him two wide-eyed blue eyes and a raised neck in the nurses' station. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice, he didn't want to be kicked out of Steve's room.

"This is what I didn't understand but now I understand, my family helped me understand, nobody is more important to me, okay? All of you occupy the same place in my heart and I don't need a ranking, it's not a damn competition." Danny stopped when his eyes started to burn and he knew he would cry if continued. Steve, sensitive as he was, held out his hand to Danny.

"Danny ... I ... I know your family comes first, I get it right? I don't want to be between you and them, that was never my intention." And he was almost begging and Danny understood, Steve was afraid Danny would leave him if he claimed his place in his life. As such confident, self-assured and self-conscious guy was so insecure with regard to their importance in people's lives was beyond Danny to understand.

"Steve, what I'm trying to say is that I love you in the same way that I love my parents, my brothers, my nephews and my daughter. It almost took to lose you and not even be here to have the chance to say goodbye for me to realize you are my family now too, hell, maybe since the first damn day when I was shot for your recklessness." And remembering the day they met brought the suggestion of a smile to Steve's face.

"I'm not struggling to be in front of anyone Danny ..." And Steve's insistence to always be the martyr, the one who sacrifices himself, the hero and never think of himself irritated him and he almost lost, completely forgetting that the man in front of him still wasn't ready for such a complex conversation.

"Steven! You have toshove intoyour hard head that if you want something or someone you have to fight for it! You need to know that you are important, that you are worth it and that the one who loves you wants to be close to you ever..."

"Oh yes?" And the tone in Steve's question was as sharp as a blade.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I wanted to go to Jersey with you and you rejected me without giving me the chance to say that I wanted to go to be by your side.To support you, give you strength.I didn't want to be introduced as your boyfriend or anything else, you could just say that I was there as your friend, when things were calmer we could tell the truth..." Steve tried to say all this in one breath but he had just left a surgery for a collapsed lung and of course this was too much activity and he was out of breath.

"Babe ... Steve, calm down, you can't overdo it, the doctor was categorical." And Nani was already standing outside the ICU room ready to rip Danny out of there.

"Okay..."

And Danny's hand gently caressing Steve's hair helped the wounded man to calm down. Always did. Even when they were not in the best mood with each other.

Steve closed his eyes and concentrated on controlling his breathing again. His ribs ached with the effort and he let go of Danny's hand and grabbed his surgically repaired side. Danny got scared and when he thought of going to Nani and asking for help, she was already beside Steve, pressing the button of the equipment that dispensed the morphine and giving a mortal look to Danny.

"The doctor asked you not to disturb him detective, I thought you understood." If words could kill, Danny was sure he would be lying on the floor right now.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm going to go out and leave him alone." Danny took over in defeat.

"I think it's better." Nani said without even looking at Danny. She was now holding Steve's good hand, gently caressing her knuckles in an attempt to comfort him. Now Danny was sure she had something for his boyfriend.

Steve still had his eyes closed trying to calm the pain and his breathing, but when he heard Danny say he was going to leave he struggled to open the eyes and held out his hand again to Danny.

"Danny ... stay ... please ..." Danny took a deep breath, tried to control the tears that flooded his eyes, turned to Steve and grabbed his hand.

"Sure babe, whatever you need."

"Commander, you need to rest. The painkiller will take effect soon and you need to sleep ..."

"I know ... but I don't want to ... be alone ... again ..." And Danny thought it was no longer possible for him to feel worse with this whole situation. Steve had been badly injured and he was not around, had major surgery and Danny was not around. His dad was right, it was going to take more than an apology to fix things.

"You will not stay, now let the medicine work, sleep and I'll be here when you wake up." And he gave Nani a look that clearly challenged her to say the opposite. The nurse was not intimidated though.

"Your Five-0 status will not help you detective, if you disturb him again. If you really care about him, you're going to let him rest and heal, whatever you both need to talk about can wait." So she turned her back and left.

"I think she hates me." Steve laughed at that.

"You arouse intense feelings in people, Danno." And Danny smiled for the first time in a long time when he heard Steve call him by his special nickname.

"Sleep your big goof. You need. Nani is right, we can have this conversation later."

Steve shook his head and drifted into a unconsciousness again.


	7. It will not be easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the reviews, kudos and all encouragement, this is the gas for every writer, to know that someone is enjoying what we are writing.
> 
> All warnings from previous chapters are still valid, I will not repeat them okay?
> 
> So let's go to a new chapter where our boys start talking, but since when do things go as planned for them?
> 
> I hope you like it!

* * *

It was three long days of ICU. After Steve was breathing better, feeling less pain and with no sign of infection, he was released to a regular room.

During his stay at the ICU, Danny didn't resume his discussion of the trip to Jersey. Nani watched him with a hawk's gaze and he also didn't want Steve in agony again, so he held the urge to speak, he too was not heartless. 

When Steve went to the private room the visits became more frequent. Every ohana wanted to make sure the Navy-SEAL would be all right. Even some Navy visits were seen in the room, including the lovely Lieutenant Catherine Rollins. Danny held that pretty face well to question Steve later.

So, the conversation ended up getting by later. After another five days, the doctors agreed it was safe to discharge Steve. The orders were clear, more rest in bed, arm all the time in the sling, take the meds for pain and antibiotics at the right time, eat regularly, take it easy for some more time and physical therapy for the clavicle broken four times a week, which gave a further commitment to Danny, in addition to work, take care of Steve and Grace at home.

Steve was clearly upset with Danny. He was quieter than usual, barely looking into Danny's eyes and avoiding talking about any subject regarding their relationship. The NJ detective was giving him some space because of his fragile health, but there was no way he would let their relationship deteriorate by not talking about the unfinished business between them, it was so with his marriage to Rachel and he was not letting this happen again. Now that they were going home, that would be dealt with properly.

Danny was in the hospital the day and time set for discharge with a change of clothes for Steve. He entered the room to find a nurse pulling the IVs from Steve's hand and sticking a small bandage in place. He already had his shoulder in a special sling that would better immobilize the broken clavicle and new bandages were already around the stomach where he had been operated and where there were also two broken ribs.

Danny smiled at the door and received another from Steve. Away from his usual hundred-megwatts smile, but it was a start. He walked in, put the bag with Steve's belongings in the visitor's chair, approached and took the hand now free of cannulas.

At this moment, Steve's mutant eyes were a soft green tone. He seemed happier now that he would leave the hospital, the guy hated being in them, despite how often he ended up in one or the other. Danny caressed his face and gained a curious look from the nurse. The woman finished the last pre-discharge procedures and left the room.

"Hey babe, eager to get out of here?"

"You don’t know how much."

"Oh, I have an idea." Danny said and smiled again, trying to make things lighter.

"I brought you a change of clothes, unless you want to get out of here in that dress and give the nurses something good to look at while we're gone." The silly joke earned a small chuckle from Steve and Danny's heart ached at the thought of how he lost that sound.

"Thank you, Danny."

"You're very welcome and now let's work on putting you inside that. Let me see how to open this thing ..." Danny said as he helped Steve out of the sling a little more complex than the typical slings. Despite all care, he still groaned in pain as he removed the horrible dress and went into a button-up shirt Danny brought. Curiously it was a shade of green that made his eyes even greener.

After putting his arm back in the sling, Danny helped Steve in his sweatpants and a pair of sneakers. All in name of comfort. Danny shrank each time his partner groaned in pain at the manipulation to change his clothes. It was going to be hard days ahead. But Danny would be around in each of them.

Steve was only half-tone darker than Casper when they were done, and Danny persuaded him back into bed as he left for the nurses’ station to sign the paperwork, pick up Steve's prescriptions and discharge's orientations.

When he returned to the room Steve was standing looking at the sunny day outside the window. He had a sad look on his face. Danny sighed. All this situation, surgery, medicine for pain, prolonged hospitalization had left the guy half depressed. Not to mention his doubts about the importance in Danny's life. He'll be busy in the next days, he knows.

"Hey big guy, let's get out of here?"

Steve turned and walked slowly to Danny. The nurse came in at that moment with a wheelchair that he sat without a quarrel. Okay, now Danny was scared. He thought Steve would vehemently refuse help. Something must have shown in his face, because Steve looked up and gave a wicked smile saying:

"I know I can't go walking to the parking lot Danny, I know my limits even though everyone doesn't think so. Now let´s go, I'm anxious to get home."

Danny pushed him through the corridors and then through the hospital parking lot carefully, he didn't want to cause pain if they hit a bump in the short way.

Steve looked curiously at Kono's car in the parking lot. Not the Camaro and not his truck, but the Kono's red Cruze. Danny smiled a little, it was always good to surprise the SEAL.

"Of all our cars, Kono's Cruze is the easiest to put you in. The Camaro and Chin's car are too low for you to bend with broken ribs and your truck is too high for you to climb without straining your shoulder."

"Wow! You really planned it."

"Of course, I promised to take care of you, didn't I?"

Steve smiled sweetly and shook his head at what warmed Danny's heart, maybe not everything was lost after all.

* * *

Danny drove slowly down the way to Steve's house which caused the higher man to laugh.

"Danny, you drive like an old lady."

"Excuse me if I don't want to see you moan in pain if we fall into some depression on the road."

"You don't have to pout." Now he was teasing Danny.

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes, you are and it's lovely and I appreciate you taking care of me."

"Always babe." And Danny's heart was in celebration, if Steve could tease him like this,

* * *

They arrived at Steve's house and Danny parked Kono's car next to his Camaro in the driveway and ran to the passenger door to help Steve out of the car. Of course the idiot was already doing more damage to himself by trying to go it alone. Danny just rolled his eyes, he'd already gone through it once when he ran over Steve and broke his leg. The guy was like the worst patient in the world.

"Could you wait thirty seconds for me to help you? Are you wanting to open the stitches or take one of those broken bones out of the way and go back to the hospital before you even step on foot in the living room?" Danny complained as he stood on Steve's unharmed side, placed his good arm over of his shoulder and supported most of Steve's weight as they walked slowly toward the entrance of the house.

Skillfully Danny took the key from the front door of his jeans pocket he was wearing, still supporting Steve who by now was almost hanging on him, opened the door, typed in the alarm code and entered with Steve who was silently trying not to give the obvious pain a voice. Carefully he lowered the injured man into the armchair that he had left prepared with pillows to do the job of sitting and breathing with pain in the ribs most bearable. Steve took a few moments to compose himself and then looked at Danny with a clearly grateful look.

Danny understood that he was not yet able to speak and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water to give his partner time to compose himself. When he came back Steve was fidgeting trying to find a comfortable position and doing all kinds of pain grimaces in the process.

"Let me help you." Danny set down the glass of water on the coffee table and helped his lover sit upright, smoothed the pillows, and reached out with his glass of water. Steve took and drank almost everything in a single breath, impressive for someone who could not even breathe alone a week ago.

"Thank you Danno. Sorry to make you be my nurse again." He tried to smile but the pain was still bad and he thought it was more like a grimace.

"You don't have to thank me, when people love each other they do these things for each other without need reward. I just want you to get well soon, that's all."

Suddenly that lost look was back on Steve's face. Danny was beginning to hate this look more than the aneurysm face. He was going to give Steve some time to sit back at home, get some rest, eat something and then they would talk about the annoying subject. He knew that the SEAL was not great at talking about his feelings but if they would have a future together, that would start to change now.

* * *

Danny marked on a sticky note all the times of Steve's meds. On another note he scored how many times he would need to help his boyfriend with the breathing exercises to strengthen the still weakened lung and also how many times a day he would have to walk a little around to help the muscles stay strong. Days lying in a hospital bed and then resting at home could weaken the strongest of men. Vigorous activities were completely off the charts for a while, but light and short walks were necessary to avoid complications.

Less than an hour after they arrived, Steve fell asleep. All the hustle and bustle of being discharged and the trip to home had sapped her strength. Danny was becoming a professional at taking care of a wounded Steve so he knew that turning on the TV in some old action series was like narcotic for the guy so he did just that. And it worked very well. Danny smiled fondly to his boyfriend sleeping stilly.

He was now preparing a light lunch for the two of them. Steve would not be able to eat anything too elaborate for a while. He always felt sick when he was on antibiotics and Danny needed to be creative so he would eat something.

When had he been so experienced in taking care of McGarrett?

Oh yeah, when the schmuck got an infection in the bullet wound that Hesse put on him during the early days of Five-0? When did he break the guy's leg during a case? Or when he broke his arm on that damn mountain? Or in one of the dozens of times he got a minor injury during the work? Wow! The guy was a klutz. Definitely.

That's how he learned to interpret Steve's every groan and know what he needed even before he could ask.

But this time the close call with death had been much more serious and the recovery was going to be much more difficult. Last time he had to deal only with physical injuries and the frustrating task of keeping a man who looked like a hyperactive five-year-old quiet, but this time he would deal with a broken heart in the process.

A heart that he had broken.

He looked again at Steve asleep sitting in his armchair in the living room, relaxed, painless, smooth face with no lines of worry that seem to be present all the time in that handsome face and thought he was a lucky guy. And this time he was going to get the lucky by the horns and not let her go.

_I'll fix things babe. I will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if it seems like I'm dragging things, but I'm a detail-bound person so I could not start the real and painfull conversation without a glimpse of what Steve is feeling.
> 
> But do not worry and do not abandon me, in the next chapter the real talk will happen, this story is coming to an end, I will not curl you many more.


	8. I have feelings, many of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another very fast chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> The conversation is here, I hope it meets expectations. Not everything is solved though, it's just the beginning.
> 
> I'm glad to hear that you guys do not think I'm taking too long.

* * *

Steve was grateful to be back home, but he also felt a big emptiness in his chest. Danny was there with him, taking care of him and apparently being the careful and worried boyfriend he always was, but since he going to Jersey that Steve was trying to gauge whether that care was love or convenience.

Yes convenience, because they works together most of the day, even before they were dating they spent most of their time together, working or doing the team connection thing. Danny slept more in his house than in his own apartment anyway.

Steve had been lonely and sad since the loss of his father, transferring the Navy to the reserves and Danny was upset at not being able to adapt to Hawaii and still suffering from his divorce and remarriage from the woman he once loved.

Then Steve's hyperactive mind began to think that perhaps what bound them together was not love, but convenience. He was sure to love Danny and knew that in his heart this love was fast becoming the candidate for the greatest love of his whole life. He had related to other people, he thought had loved Catherine Rollins, but what did he feel for Danny? Was completely different, bigger, scarier. Maybe would be that kind of love he would never be able to forget.

But did Danny feel that way about him?

Apparently no.

Steve was eager to introduce Danny to his Aunt Deb and his sister Mary. No shame at all, he knew they would love Danny just like him. Might be a shock to know that he was bisexual, but he knew that afterwards everything would be all right.

Already Danny, he discovered that he was not anxious to introduce him to family. And after that episode he knew it would never happen, because he would never put Danny in the position of choosing between him and his family. But could their relationship survive this?

Steve did not think he could handle being just fun to his partner, he was 33 years old and little by little the need to have someone who was beyond a friend with benefits was beginning to dwell in his mind.

When Danny traveled, he thought he would handle things very well, as he always did, but this time it hurt in a different way. Because being rejected by who he thought would never be able to do that hurt him more deeply than any rejection he had ever suffered in his life.

Then Danny came back when he was injured. And he was doing what he always did that was caring for Steve with all love and dedication, but was it really love or just pity? Pity of someone he knew had no one else? That had no family? Because God knows Mary wouldn't come to take care of her wounded brother. In fact, he had no plans to tell her. They were not close for that sort of thing and Steve was not the kind to whine and disturb people's lives.

Steve had woken up half an hour ago to a quiet house. There was a smell of something baking in the oven, but he did not go there, he got up and headed for the lanai. Look at the ocean waves, coming and going constantly no matter what was always able to calm Steve's heart, to give some semblance of normality, something that would always be there at any occasion. Apparently, this was the only constant thing in Steve's life.

He stood there, staring at the endless green of the sea on a sunny day. Danny had once said to him that this was his favorite color, because there had been days that Steve's eyes were just that shade of green. So even though he was not a fan of the ocean when it was green like that, reminded him of his partner. This had been one of the most significant things anyone had ever said about him in his life.

He took a deep breath and grimaced when his bruised ribs protested. He was holding the wounded arm protectively through the contraption that the doctors had made use for his broken shoulder. Even standing for a few moments undermined his energy. That sucked, getting hurt on duty sucked, because always took an insane time to get well again. And this time had been bad, for a while there while lying down, bleeding on the floor of the suspect's house, Steve thought he was going to die. And that he would not have the chance to say goodbye to Danny. And that was exactly what scared him the most, not the prospect of dying, but the panic of not seeing Danny's face hovering above him and saying that everything was going to be okay. Whenever Steve was injured after coming to Hawaii he had Danny hovering in despair but never leaving his side, providing comfort until all was well.

He was so engrossed in his self-pity party that he did not notice Danny approaching him, only when the man spoke and almost gave him a heart attack that he realized. He held the ribs to try to breathe through the pain after the fright and turned slowly to look at the man who had quickly become someone indispensable for him.

"Hey Steve, easy! It's just me." Danny said when he realized that he had frightened the guy to death and ran to give him some support as he wobbles precariously in place.

"You scared the hell out of me ..."

"I'm sorry, but that's your fault too, I'm sure you shouldn't have been standing for so long." Danny said as he maneuvered a panting Steve back into the living room.

"I'm tired of staying inside, I needed the sea for a few moments at least."

"I know babe, you must be in abstinence crisis from the ocean huh? Like drug addicts going through detox treatment. "

The sides of Steve's mouth lifted in the shadow of a smile and Danny's heart ached, this was something else he missed terribly, Steve's big goofy smile that had been missing since the day he went to Jersey.

"Are you hungry? I made lunch ... "

Steve shook his head negatively, he really didn't know if he could eat now.

"Babe, you need eat. I made baked fish and salad, something you'll manage to eat with your rebellious stomach, I know you get sick with meds."

Steve smiled at Danny's statement, looked into his blues eyes that he loved so much and said:

"You know a lot about me for the little time we know each other." Danny smiled back and put his hand on Steve's shoulder gently.

"I knew a lot about you since the first time I saw you, for the people who live around you, your personality is very easy to read. Believe me, Chin and Kono will tell the same thing if you ask."

"Oh yes? I'm an open book for all of yours?"

"Yes. Obviously, I’ve etched in my memory every tick and every twitch of your face and I know what you're feeling just by the way you look, in every situation."

"Your story of my faces."

"Yes, I have a name for each of them, but that's not what I'm talking about."

Steve turned to face Danny. He had been fleeing this conversation ever since he woke up in the hospital, but it was inevitable. And Steve J. McGarrett was not the type to flee the fight, so he knew that would have to get through it soon enough. And now it was a moment like any other.

"Danny, we need to talk."

"Okay, I know that, but we will not talk on an empty stomach, so let's eat like two normal people and then we'll talk."

“Danny...”

"No Steven, you're not having a serious conversation without eat, I don't need you passing out on me for lack of blood glucose ok? Let's eat and then I promise you we'll figure it all out."

Steve just nodded in agreement. For a stubborn like a mule, he could agree once in a while.

* * *

They ate absolutely in silence. Danny set the table outside, hoping to improve Steve's mood as he missed the sea so much. But the wounded man was clearly heartbroken. The look on Steve's face was not anger, was desolation. Was as if he was waiting for devastating news.

Yes, they could not put off talking about it anymore.

Both finished their plates and Danny led them to the sink, brought two glasses of juice and sat down in front of Steve who did not have the guts to meet his eyes.

“Babe, look at me...”

Nothing. Just a trembling sigh.

"Steve, please tell me what's going through your head. I know what I told hurt you deeply, but I don't think it's cause for such desolation..."

After hearing this, Steve looked up and his expression had changed, from sadness to disbelief or even anger?

"Okay Danny, I'll tell you what's going on in my mind."

He was the usual Steve now. Sitting upright, owner of the situation, look capable of killing.

"During the whole time that we meet and then during the time we are together as a couple you provoke me to demonstrate my feelings, which I have already told you is not my normal MO, I wasn't raised to say what I feel every five minutes like you."

"Hey you don't have to get nervous." Danny realized that Steve's breath was starting to get difficult.

"Now you're going to listen to me," Steve said in a low but deadly tone, punctuating every word without ever turning Danny's eyes away.

"But since I was an idiot and let myself like you I started to make an effort. And suddenly I lost control of things, I fell in love with you very fast and very hard. And so far, I've found it to be reciprocal." That statement hit Danny like a punch in the stomach. He opened his mouth to refute but Steve raised his hand in a gesture of _just hearing me_.

"So, you went to your house in Jersey and told me was not the time to talk about our relationship with your parents. Okay, I understand, your sister was in the hospital and although we live in the twenty-first century not everyone accepts same-sex relationships yet. But I wasn't asking to go as your boyfriend, I was asking to go as your partner, your backup. But you didn't even give me a chance to talk, you cut me off and said you had to go alone."

"But you didn't even try to fight for the chance to tell me what you're saying now. That's your problem, you compartmentalize the feelings and say nothing, how do you think I'll know if you don't tell me? "

Steve just laughed wryly.

"Danny, I don't know if I have a place in your heart, I know he's big, but I don't think I'm important enough to you and I have a little self-esteem in me not to crawl."

"Oh God, where did you get that I don't love you? Please tell me what have I done to make you imagine such insanity? I went to Jersey but my heart stayed here and I was barely able to board that plane, if my sister's life wasn't at risk I would have given up!" Danny was screaming now, even though he felt terrible about it, Steve saying that he didn't love him was like a stab in the heart.

"What did you do, Danny? You discarded me as something that you are ashamed and want to hide, you are gone and have not thought twice about leaving me here feeling that I am just a distraction for you, that soon you will get bored of me like the others and go away!" And the conversation was beginning to take a toll on his stamina as breathe became hard and Steve hugged the injured side with the good arm. Danny didn't lost the gesture. But now they would go to the end, he knew that if they didn't finish, Steve would not recover physically or psychologically.

"Okay, let me talk now, and control your breathing. And no, don't argue with me now I'll talk and you'll hear me with attention..."

"But I didn’t finish ..."

"I don't care, when you can breathe normally again you keep going."

"You're bossy."

"I know that."

They both laughed, but Steve moaned, damn broken ribs.

"I was a coward, okay? A foolish coward and I knew it when the words came out of my mouth, everyone reproached me, but no recrimination hurt me more than seeing the pain I caused there, crystalline in your eyes."

Danny took a deep breath and continued.

"I spent every minute of the days away from you scared of what could be happening here. I knew that I had hurt you and that you would be distracted by it and I was afraid of what could happen, that you could be seriously injured or worse, that I would lose you because of my selfishness."

"I wasn’t distracted when we were hit ..."

"I know, you were the hero, saved Kono and everything, but I should be with you, be your backup ..."

“Danny...”

"No, listen to me! I should be there, I trust Kono and Chin with my life, with yours, hell with Grace's, but I'm your partner and I have an obligation to have your back and I didn't have and I almost lost you by that."

"You couldn't have avoided what happened and besides, there will be times when we will not be together and that one or the other may get hurt, is the nature of our work and you have family on the mainland, you can't just forget them there to never leave me anymore. It's absurd, Danny. "

"Yes, I'm going back to visit them and I want to meet my nephew, but you go with me because God knows you're like a puppy, if you leave him alone, will make a mess..."

Steve's mouth was open. Danny was nuts. He had left a few days ago and said it was not the time to talk about their relationship to the family and now he was making plans to take Steve along. This was really a crazy thing.

"Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm serious. And never, never doubt my love for you again. If you had been killed by that bastard, I would never have been whole again. Ever."

But Steve still didn’t seem to believe it.

Danny sighed, really some beautiful words were not going to do. He would need a greater effort to make it work.

"Steve, I talked to my parents about us. They already know. Bridget already knows. And you know what happened? Everyone wanted to give me a blow to the head for what I told you. I came back with clear instructions to do everything right with you again, direct orders from my parents and my sister. So, don't worry, everyone knows about you there now."

"This is true?"

"Of course it is. And you know what? My parents were a lot more moderns than me, they told me they always knew I was bisexual, which is nothing new, and my mother even noticed that I had feelings for you even before I thought of coming clean with her."

“Wow...”

"Yeah, I was speechless like you."

"And they don’t hate me?"

"No, they all want to meet you and there's no more mystery and secrecy, it's all done now, there's nothing left to hide. And I never want to feel the way I felt when I left and you stayed here. "

"Danny, are you sure ..."

"Yes, I'm sure. You and Grace are the two most important people in my life, I will never be able to live without one of you."

"You know I'm a mess ..."

“Look at me Steven...”

Steve looks up and finds Danny's wet eyes, his heart skip a beat because he realizes at that moment that his love is being sincere with him and it's like a ton of weight pulled from his shoulders to realize that Danny really loves him, in his confused way, but loves him. He holds up the look and what he hears almost leaves him in tears too.

"I look every day into your eyes and see all the mess there. What the loss of your mother and father did, what Hesse did, all that was taken away from you. And I'll never leave you, because I want to look at this mess every day and I want to help you fix it out a bit."

The only thing Steve could manage was a shaky breath. Danny got up, went to his boyfriend recovering from two bullets that almost took his life, caressed his face and kissed him as if was the first time, Steve did not run away, he was eager for this kiss from the moment he opened the eyes in the hospital room a few days ago.

After a few moments they both walked away, Steve smiled a small but sincere smile at Danny who returned one of his and asked:

"You forgive me?"

"Yes, I forgive you."

"Then why are you looking at me like this, so sad?"

"Because still hurts."

"I know it hurts and that's why I'm here, to make it better, it can take as long as takes because I love you."

And the look on Steve's face right now was still sad, but it was also the look of someone who doesn't know how to love in half, so doesn't know how to suffer in half.


	9. Time will fix things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we came to the end of this adventure.
> 
> Over 100 kudos, thousands of hits and more than 30 reviews. I was not expecting such a positive reaction. Thanks to all who have read and dedicated a little of their time to my daydreaming is so incredible, really.
> 
> I tried to finish the story with a note of hope, but without being unrealistic and saying that Steve completely forgot what happened, we know that hurt does not go away like magic, but when we really love we start over again, but forget completely is impossible.
> 
> I used Grace to help fix things up because recently I had a problem in my relationship and was my little daughter who helped me see things from another perspective. And I love Grace, so she's here at the happy end of our boys.
> 
> I hope I have offered good fun and see you next time!

* * *

"Yeah monkey, I'll get you for the weekend and don't worry, okay? Uncle Steve is getting better and yes I am taking good care of him."

Danny was on the cell phone with Grace and Steve was smiling at the exchange between the two. No one but Grace could bend Danny so easily. He did absolutely everything for his daughter. Steve loved watching them interact.

Today, three days after he was discharged from the hospital, he was still tired, sick with medication, and with pain whenever he moved or breathed more deeply.

Few times during his career in the SEALs he had been seriously injured, despite what everyone imagined. He had come close to death a few times, but he was rarely hurt and disabled as he was now.

So, he just had to thank Danny to be willing to stand by his side and take care of everything because he sincerely knew he would not be able to for a while.

"... I'm sure he'll love monkey. Now I need to go, right? And remember that Danno loves you." Danny hung up the phone and took a few seconds smiling at the screen. When he turned, he saw Steve smiling lovingly at him.

Gradually they were returning to the confidence and love of before Danny's trip. He was still going to catch Steve looking away with a lost and sad look on his face at times, but was less frequent now.

Danny was giving his all to make sure he showed Steve how much he is loved by him and everyone around them. And it seemed to be working. Even his daughter was engaged in the task of making Steve smile again.

He placed his cell phone on the sideboard near the entrance door of the living room and sat next to Steve on the couch. His beloved was seated, leaning on an incredible number of pillows to support his still sore ribs and watching some old action movie that he found on TV.

"Is everything okay?" Danny asked. Steve rolled his eyes because he'd already lost count of how many times Danny had asked that question in the past three days.

"Yes, everything is fine. Nothing hurts, I took my meds as you saw, I don't have a fever, I took all the water you brought me and I'm hungry, looking forward to lunch. Is this an acceptable answer?"

Danny laughed. He was being a mother hen to Steve with no problem in showing it.

"Yes, it's acceptable. I'll start lunch then, since your majesty is starving."

"Thank you Danno. Is Grace coming over the weekend?"

"Yes, and she's anxious to see you, make sure you're really okay. She's upset because it's _been forever_ since she's seen you." Danny says while making quotation marks in the air to emphasize the speech of his nine-year-old daughter.

"I miss her too." Steve said, smiling the sweet smile that was only for Grace. Danny's heart melted every time he saw how much his partner loved his girl.

"She said that is bringing a card of get well soon to you, that she even drew and that she and Rachel made cookies. She said that always feels better when Mommy makes chocolate chip cookies for her."

"That's very sweet of her. And I think we have to open a space in the refrigerator to put the drawing she's bringing for me." Steve said indicating the kitchen refrigerator with his head. Previously immaculate refrigerator but now boasted at least ten drawings of Grace.

"Yes, my daughter is an angel." Danny said proudly as he got up and went to the kitchen to prepare lunch.

* * *

Two days after that conversation. Sunday. A beautiful Sunday in Hawaii. It was mid-afternoon and Danny had gone out to pick up at the grocery store some things he swore were necessary for Steve's recovery.

For Grace, had been assigned the task of taking care of Steve while Danny was away. Mission that she accepted euphorically. Steve was comfortably stretched out on a lounger in the lanai, watching his partner's daughter play in the sand. He was feeling much better. Less pain, fewer remedies for pain, less nausea and drowsiness. He could already walk and talk more without looking like an old man with pulmonary emphysema. Her shoulder still ached like a bitch, but was better. He could not wait to abandon the huge, restrictive sling he was wearing.

Suddenly Grace turned to Steve and their eyes met. The little girl was a very special child. Sensitive, polite, loving. He liked to think she'd inherited most of her personality from her father. But there were some good manners that were clearly Rachel. Danny spoke loudly and gestured excessively and Grace was not like that, she had a remarkable personality, but she was not as excessive as her father. Not that Steve did not love Danny's excesses, that was one of the things that made Steve fall in love with him.

She ran and snuggled into Steve's unharmed side. She kissed her cheek and the SEAL ran his fingers through her soft, perfumed hair. Strawberry. His strawberry shampoo he found in the bathroom every time he went to bathe. Next to yours and Danny's. He loved the smell of child in her hair.

She looked at him with her intense brown eyes, her mother's inheritance and despite the divergent color, her look was all Danny. Was unnerving. They both looked at Steve and he felt they could see his soul. Through all the crap out there.

"Is everything all right, Gracie?"

"Can I ask you a question Uncle Steve?" Yes, Danny. Straight to the point as the father, without sprucing things up.

"Of course, anything dear."

She then moved so she could look directly into Steve's eyes and he started to get scared. Nothing good came of Danny when he had exactly that intense look, so he thought nothing good would come from Grace as well. After all, she was his daughter.

"Are you mad at Danno?" Steve's eyes widened, if she had noticed and was worried, he was being much more obvious than he imagined.

"Uh ... Why are you asking me this, Gracie?" He could not lie to her and say no, that he was not upset, but at the same time he did not want to worry her about something so adult. She should not worry about this sort of thing. Never.

"Because Danno is sad. He is sad as when he and momy started to fight all the time. He tells me it's okay, but I know it's not."

"Oh dear, this is adult things, you shouldn't worry okay? We'll sort things out ..."

"The adults tell the kids they're going to sort things out, but then they fight, they separate and never like each other anymore. I don't want you to fight with Danno and go away as momy did."

"Baby, look at me." Steve repositioned himself to look directly at Grace, then he touched her chin and lifted her face and saw tears there. Talk about feeling like a crap. He was making a child suffer. A sweet child was thinking that would be watching his father go through the pain of separation again.

"I love our Danno, okay? Being upset about something he did doesn't mean that what I feel about your dad is going to change, not changed and will never change. I'm not leaving and I'm not going to let Danno go either, you don't have to worry about it and I'm telling the truth to you. I would never lie to you, Gracie." He said it looking into the girl's eyes in front of him and wiped a tear that ran down.

"So, you'll forgive Danno?" She seemed to beg.

"I've forgiven Danno."

It's not what it looks like.

Steve sighed. Let for Grace be exactly stubborn and persistent as your father. Couple this to the sincerity and innocence of a child and you had Steve completely unarmed.

"Tell me then what I'm doing to upset you and I'll fix it."

"When you're happy with Danno, you smile all the time, you look at him as Step Stan looks at mommy. And you worry about Danno, if he's okay, if he's happy too. And since you came back from the hospital you don't talk to him anymore, you don't smile at him anymore, it seems you don't like him anymore..."

 _Wow._ Danny would definitely kill him for making Grace feel that way.

"Honey, will I tell you a story? That way you can better understand what's going on." Gracie shook her head enthusiastically.

"What happens if you grab a bag of feathers and throw them off the top of a mountain?"

"They will spread all over the mountain because of the wind."

"And will it be easy to get them all back and put them in the bag?"

"No. It will be very difficult to find them all and put them in the bag. Some will fly away and will be hidden and no one will ever find them again."

"Right, you're a very smart girl, that's exactly what's going to happen. Our hearts work the same way." Grace looked at him with a look of confusion that was simply lovely.

"When you say words that hurt a person, they are like feathers in the wind, it's difficult to go back and get them all back. Some will get lost and they will never be able to be recovered and that is why we have to think very well before saying something that can hurt someone."

She looked at him with a knowing look and shook her head. But the sadness seemed even greater.

"So, you'll never be able to forget what Danno said?"

"I have already forgiven your father and as I told you, my love has not diminished, only increases every day, but the memory of what happened will never go away and this is good did you know?"

She shook her head negatively.

"Because every time I remember he told me words that hurt I'll remember how much he struggled to make all better. And that's what matters. We all make mistakes, but what counts is what we do to correct our mistake and your father has gone beyond what is necessary to make me understand and feel happy again."

Then she smiled. And the tightness in his chest to make her suffer loosened a little.

"I love you both more than myself Gracie. There is nothing I wouldn't do to see you both happy, even putting a stone on top of what happened and starting over again. Never forget that right?"

She shook her head and her smile was so big that he fell in love with the little girl all over again.

She snuggled back into Steve's side and he stroked her hair again. By now he had solved the problem, but he would police himself not to make her sad again.

Then he heard someone sniffing behind them, both turned to see Danny standing there at the door of the lanai, sniffing like someone who had been crying silently. Both were startled. Grace jumped from Steve's lap and ran to her father, Steve slowly stood up doing all sorts of pain grimaces in the process. Danny ran and stopped the movement.

"Hey stop! Sit back, it's okay." Grace was clinging to his legs in a way that kept him from walking.

"Danno, are you crying?" Grace was worried.

"Is everything okay for real? What happened? "Steve was frantic now, what could have happened on a trip to the supermarket?

"I'm good, I'm more than good, they aren't tears of sadness, they are happiness and gratitude."

Two people looked at him as if he were an extraterrestrial. Danny disengaged himself from the death grip Grace had around him, took her in his arms and sat down on the chaise beside Steve.

"I heard your talk."

Steve froze in place.

"And no one has ever said such perfect things about me before. I could never have explained what happened in a most brilliant, sweet and loving way to Grace. I'll never be able to thank you for the huge class of humanity you gave her today babe." He held out Grace's free hand to Steve, who immediately grabbed with a grin as the big goofy he was.

"And I thought I couldn't love you anymore, but I just found out that even in this you surprise me, in your ability to make me fall more in love with you every day. I wish I could have everything you said taped to hear again and again."

"Danno everything is recorded, in the most important place, in our heart. And like the feathers that scatter in the wind, no one will ever be able to catch them from there." Grace said, with the innocence of a child, but the wisdom beyond her years so characteristic of her. He could not be prouder of his daughter.

Danny sobbed through a smile, kissed her daughter's hair and looked at Steve so lovingly that the SEAL was sure to. No doubt Danny loved him.


End file.
